" love means suffering&enduring no matter how much it hurts " one of the many love quotes. although i do believe that this quote is true why is it that some people experience more pain and hurt way too much than they really should of? for some reason im still hurt. i really just want to get over it and just let go. but its the fact that i was really broken-down. like i know that i hurt him as well, but he really doesnt know how much he hurt me. i seriously experienced so much pain through the break up. & even after the break up. i went through to much pain & some of it i didnt even deserve. i didnt deserve some of the pain that he put me through & thats why my heart is still broken. i took what i got & deserved bcuz i accepted it, i know that i deserved it so it was easier to get over. but idk, i still feel sad&depressed at times. but dont get me wrong. bcuz im really happy with him again<3 but than i have my moments when i just over think. i dont want to hurt anymore, i just dont know how i can heal myself. slowly each day it gets better, VERY SLOWLY. i know it'll take time & LOTS of time. but for some reason idk if my heart will ever get put back together. i just HATE feeling like this.i forgive but i'll never forget. how can someone love someone so much that it hurts? shouldnt love heal your heart & heal the pain & the bad memories. its the fact that i kept my word to him. everything i said, he just never believed me. i think thats what made it worse is bcuz i kept everything & he broke everything. i trust him, im just still learning to trust him with my heart. im so scared to get hurt again, i dont want to go back to those old feelings&heart break. how do i know he wont just break his promises again right? its just words he saying, hes said them before & broke them. i just dont know what will happen anymore. i just know i dont want to experience and pain again i might as well die, thats how bad it was. its so easy to hide everything with just a smile. nobody really knows how i feel, thats why its hard to get advice on this situtation. i just want it all to STOP. im happy & back with him, shouldnt that be enough to help me heal? like im truly&deeply in love with him<3 and he makes me so happy in life, our relationship is so great right now. i wouldnt trade it for the world. i would seriously do anything for him. i know what we have is real&true love, none of that puppy love bullshit. i have found a true love in him. blahhh i really dont know. i just wish he really knew how much he hurt me & would see why i get emo on him at times. he'll just never know what he did to me. but he did it & he should put my heart back together. & i think the only way he can do it,is if he proves that he really loves me & only wants me. but i dont know how he could, bcuz even now i doubt him, thinking that he wants to be with someone else. if only he knew. tim please just love me with everything you have to give & never ever give me reason to doubt you. show me that i am the one person you love. bcuz i have PROVED my LOVE for YOU&ONLY YOU. and you know it. i have given you my heart once again hoping that you wont kill it all over again. =/ its funny how he kept thinking that i was going to be the one to hurt him, but in the end he did EVERYTHING to ME that he was afraid i would do to him. ive kept my word to him. every single one i said i would keep. i always stayed true. but how come in the end i was the one who got hurt the worst. during the relationship & after. why am i the one who got cut down too deep? when i kept my word to him. what can i do right? i love him so much, i LET him hurt me & i take the pain. how can you love someone so much that it hurts, but you still stand by thier side? see what i have for him is TRUE MOTHA FUCKN LOVE. and it is what it is. whats done has been done, and i just have to accpet it.

--; only if i knew then what i know now, it would
be a different story

--; how can someone you love tell you that they love you, and turn around and hurt you like they never loved you, that it breaks you down too deep you dont know if you'll ever heal from the pain.

--; time is a funny thing. time is there to help you heal from the pain, hurting, & suffering you've been through. but sometimes all the time in the world doesnt heal the pain, hurting & suffering thats KiLLED you inside.

iTS BEEN AWHiLE SiNCE iVE UPDATED
SCHOOL HAS BEEN STRESSFULL LiKE NO OTHER
SO MANY TESTiNG YESTERDAY WAS THE WRiTiNG PROF.
SO HALLOWEEN WAS TiNAS BDAY<3 HAPPY BDAY LOVE<3 [=
YEAH iTS BEEN CRAZY LATELY .. CHRiSTMAS COMiNG UP
i NEED TO SAVE UP HELLA MONEY
CHRiSTMAS;2YEARS ANNi;SADiES
CRAZY BUT ANYWAYS iM OUT

-REANNA

uhh been really busy lately with key club and homework

never have time to update .. update later [=

--reanna

so yeah just updating =]

ive been soo stressed out lately. =/ and it sucks
last weekend or something i went to san diego .. bcuz my daddy made chief in the navy =]
missed two whole days of school yeesss =]
anyways it was fun and relaxing to get away from school
this whole week everyday basically ive been doing hw nonstop gaysauce
anways tuesday i went to the library with tina,supatra,david and kathy and i saw ateh ashley there to
we were doing hw but than we had comunity service for key club to do around 5
so we finished most of our hw and did community service for an hour i guess
the lady was so RUDE omg were swtiching and doing something else now
but after the library i went to get some boba with robin, nishanka, and wendy.
we also stopped by brandis work .. i missed her lol
went home did some more homework LOL
yesterday omg was so much fun .. around 7 period i got called up the the office
bcuz they were dropping my thrid period .. so i droped computer science and got office aide insted
so i now have american lit honors thrid period and office aide seventh period which is okay i guess
found out that im going to have that class with manny and josh =] so im good lol
after school i forgot that we had key club and i rushed to the lecture room
turns out the door was locked and no one can hear me knockin >.< i saw tiffany come up
i was releived to not be the only one late haha
so anyways just the normal sutff and elected class reps.
ashleys junior rep and tiffanys sophomore rep =]
tina got jacked of senior rep only bcuz the other guy had all hes senior friends vote for him.
after the meeting i went home and changed and than me,tina,supatra,david, and kathy went to supatras
house until the DCM meeting .. we thought it was at 430 but turns out it was at 6 insted  so we
just chilled at her house until then .. afoun 530ish we leave to serria vista i thought we
were early but we werent lol .. i saw geo and tida over there and many more
DCM was so much fun omg .. after DCM we went to get some sonic to eat and than went home

UPCOMiNG EVENTS:

SEPT. 22- KEY CLUB WELCOME BACK BBQ
SEPT.23- DECORTAiNG HALLS FOR HOMCOMiNG
SEPT.29- HOMECOMiNG GAME AGAiNST CLARK
SEPT.30- SUPA SAUCE'S SWEET SiXTEEN
OCT.04- RCM @ ATECH
OCT.7- BREAST CANCER WALK
OCT.21- RTC @ CiMMARON
NOV. 11- FALL RALLY @ SiX FLAGS

NEXT WEEK SPiRiT WEEK:

MONDAY: PJ BOTTOM DAY
TUESDAY: TROPiCAL DAY
WEDNESDAY: GQ DAY
THURSDAY: SUPERHERO DAY
FRiDAY: SPiRiT DAY

--REANNA [;

so yes i still havent posted an end of the summer blog so here goes

finally sophomore year has ended junior year here we come
everything was doing good i had so much fun just hanging out with everyone watching movie
and just basically hanging out robins 17th birthday .. was awesome i drove elan  && carlo's car ahah .. just hanging out having fun .. moushn sickness  dancing in the garage .. around mid-night some people left and the rest of us went to the cave sucked bcuz i was wearing slippers i started to go inside and stuff but than it was too hard weraing slippers .. so i just went back .. it was so beautiful outside .. looking at the strip and seeing the lights and the stars.. around 4am or something we went to park ..didnt go home till around 5 or 6 am.. tired as fcuk..than washington here i come i have to admit i was nervous at first meeting people i didnt know wondering if they'll like me or not .. finally got in at like midnight and it was freezing i was not use to this kind of weather .. fell alseep in the car on the way back .. 2 hours just to go back to oak harbor not use to it taking 2 hours to get somewhere yenno .. me and kimi caught back up on things i havent been to oak harbor since i was in eighth grade i was so tried we went to sleep.. around noon or something kimi wakes up so than i wake up not use to waking up that early than she said were going to pick up jason &&` niko my first day meeting everyone i was hekka nervous .. felt a little uncomfortable for awhile .. i must admit my first time meeting them and their first time meeting me .. after that day it was all uphill all of them welcomed me with open arms and i felt comfortable with them .. my time in oak harbor was a blast .. i was so glad i got to share all those moments with them .. good and bad .. justine, abby , niko, jason, nukes, mia , &&` rico they became my second family kimi was already family =] they are truly wonderful people i spent everyday when i was there with them ..we'ed always have the best time together from movie nights , inside jokes , and i was there when kimi had alot of first with her car ohh yess<3 ahha and our bonding moment<3 were the best my last day there was sad but camping in kimis backyard that day was fun a great way to spend my last day with everyone until we meet again =] i wish i was there to wish niko i goodbyee next summer the whole fam will be together again<3 after washington O CANDA here i come lol i missed my cousins sooo much i havent seen them in forever .. i only got to spend a couple of days with them sadly =[  we went to a lake all day prettty much it was so much fun what a work out though going all the way to the middle than having to bring ourselves all the way bach to the beah i was so sore .. my last day there my cousin called in sick so we could spend the day together<3 we went to the mall OH MAN is CANADA EXPENSIVE! but after we went to watch a movie we watched click.. such a good movie .. i have to admit i cried it was very touching .. after canada seattle with my aunt uncles and cousins .. had fun with them .. VEGAS im coming home .. when i got back to vegas i didnt go out everyday like i did in oak harbor .. when i got back the first thing i did was go fishing haha but went bowling around 1am first.. around 5am went to the fishing place i fell asleep in the back of tinas car =] it was so fcukn hott outside! after that did the normal stuff went to the mall watch movies etc .. midnight bowling haha yes fun fun fun was really tired tho so i let carlo &` geo mess around with my last game .. went home around 3 or 4 am .. summer quickly ended and junior year began..

this summer was truley great .. one of the summers i'll always remember

NiKO , me and you back to oak harbor summer of 07` thats a PROMiSE!  [;

<3-reanna